That (One?) Time I Earned a Straight Red & The Hidden Snake Behind My Feelings


Alright, story time…


One time, during a soccer game, there was a questionable offside call. And there was me… absolutely losing it.


I didn’t just toss my hands up. I didn’t just mutter something under my breath. No. I ran halfway across the field, got directly in front of the ref, stuck my finger in his face, and delivered some words that definitely won’t be featured on our Social Sports highlight reel.


Straight red card. Immediate. Deserved. 


At the time, I was 100% convinced it was about the call.

“It wasn’t offside.”
“We had momentum.”
“That changes the game.”


Case closed, right? But here’s where the snake shows up.

Was it really the call?

Let’s rewind 24 hours.


I had friends in town. Which meant a late night. Which meant not much sleep. Then there was the 5K race earlier that day. And then, in what felt like a completely reasonable recovery strategy at the time… four Heady Toppers with brunch after the race, leading into that afternoon game.


Hydration? Debatable.


Peak emotional regulation? Also debatable.


By the time that offside whistle blew, was I just reacting to a bad call? Or was I:

  • Overtired?
  • Slightly dehydrated?
  • Physically drained?
  • Running on fumes and hops?
  • Already on edge before kickoff?


The call was just the head of the snake. The tail? That tail was wrapped around:

  • A short night’s sleep.
  • A long day.
  • A body that probably wanted a nap, not a sprint.
  • And maybe a little ego mixed in for good measure.


None of that excuses the behavior. A red card is a red card. But acknowledging it? That can change things.

No excuses. Just awareness

It’s easy to say: “That ref blew it.”


It’s harder to say: “I wasn’t at my best before that whistle even blew.”


That’s the difference between reacting and reflecting. When we only look at the moment, we think: I was mad because of that.


When we zoom out, we realize: I was primed to explode, and that just happened to be the spark.


There’s power in owning that. Because when you can say: “Yeah, that one’s on me. I wasn’t regulated. I wasn’t sharp. I let it get away from me.” You grow – As a player. As a leader. As a human who occasionally sprints 40 yards to yell at a referee.

Why this matters for all of us

Every single one of us has had a moment. Maybe you didn’t earn a straight red (congrats). Maybe you just snapped at a teammate. Maybe you checked out of a game. Maybe you carried a bad day onto the field.


The call. The missed pass. The sub. The joke that didn’t land. Those are often just the heads of the snake. The tail might be:

  • Stress
  • Fatigue
  • Wanting to win more than you’re admitting
  • Or just caring deeply about the team


When we start asking,  “Where’s the tail of this feeling?” We play better. We lead better. We build a better league.


Social Sports is competitive. It’s fun. It’s intense sometimes. But it’s also a community. And the community gets stronger when we can say: “I messed up. No excuses. But I understand why now. And I won’t let it happen again”


That kind of acknowledgment doesn’t make you weaker. It makes you self-aware. And honestly? That’s way more impressive than arguing an offside call.


(Still wasn’t offside though. Kidding. Mostly.)