Confessions of a Social Sports Commissioner: I Pee Like a Girl

There. Said it.

And honestly? It might be one of the most relaxing parts of my day.

Now, before you picture me sipping tea with my pinky out in a candle-lit bathroom (which, to be fair, doesn’t sound terrible), let me explain. I’m a parent of three homeschooled kids by day, and by evening I’m organizing rec leagues, coaching teams, answering texts about schedules, field conditions, and whether or not “that one call” was actually offside (it was). My days are loud, chaotic, and full of movement.

So yeah — those two quiet minutes? Sitting down? No one asking me for snacks, rides, or substitutions?

That’s peace.

I’ve actually been doing it this way for a while. Maybe it goes back to my mom being an absolute stickler about keeping the toilet seat clean. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been just a little bit… let’s call it efficient with my energy. Standing felt like extra work. Sitting? Feels like a system upgrade.

But here’s the thing—that’s not the only “girly” thing I do.

I’ll happily throw on some Backstreet Boys or *NSYNC and sing along like I’m auditioning for the band. I used to watch The Golden Girls weekly back when I had time to actually watch TV. I’m a stay-at-home parent — and have been for 12 years now — and I love it.

In fact, when I was in fifth grade, I told my friends I wanted to be a stay-at-home dad. They gave me a hard time about it — nothing mean, just the usual playground roasting. But I didn’t care. It sounded fun to me. I liked hanging with kids, and I figured I’d like it even more when they were my own. Raising them, teaching them, playing guitar in the living room, kicking the ball around in the yard — it all just made sense.

And guess what? It still does.

To be clear, those aren’t the only “girly” things I do. Not even close. I:

• 
  Prefer a clean, well-decorated living space (throw pillows? Don’t threaten me with a good time)
• Cry at movies — sports movies included
• Enjoy baking with my kids (and yes, I care about presentation)
• Talk about my feelings
• Appreciate a good skincare routine
• Will absolutely stop to admire a sunset mid-game setup
• And occasionally reorganize equipment bins because chaos is not a vibe

Some of that is pretty normal. Some of it might raise an eyebrow in certain circles. All of it is just… me.

And that’s kind of the point.

We spend a lot of time putting things into boxes — what’s “for guys,” what’s “for girls,” what’s expected, what’s acceptable. But the truth is, like most things in life, it’s all on a spectrum. The stuff we enjoy, the roles we take on, the way we move through the world — it doesn’t need to fit neatly into someone else’s definition.

If you like it, and it’s not hurting anyone, you’re probably doing it right.

So yeah, I sit down to pee. I blast boy bands. I run leagues, coach teams, raise kids, and occasionally tear up during a heartfelt halftime speech.

And if that makes me “different,” I’ll take it.

Because here’s the truth: cultural norms are mostly just habits we’ve agreed to pretend are rules. They’re not laws of nature. They don’t make you a better parent, a better teammate, or a better human. They just sit there — quietly telling people what they should or shouldn’t enjoy — until someone ignores them.

So ignore them.

Sit down if you want to. Stand up if you want to. Blast boy bands. Lift heavy things. Raise kids. Coach teams. Cry at movies. Compete hard. Be gentle. Be loud. Be thoughtful. Be weird.

None of those things belong to one set of society.

They belong to people.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned running social sports leagues and raising three kids, it’s this: the best version of you isn’t the one that fits the mold — it’s the one that shows up fully, comfortably, unapologetically as yourself.

Even if that version of you is sitting down to pee for a little peace and quiet.